Resilience, Resourcefulness, Relationships

By Virginia Beck

Kaua‘i has been hit hard and roughly in the past. Hurricane ‘Iniki in 1992 overran the entire island. No one was left untouched. It was a tough recovery. Everyone, including the caregivers, was burned out, exhausted and depressed. The constant hardships of grief, loss, economic disaster, homes and hope destroyed.

We were the island of blue tarps and humming generators. But we also were the island of cook everything, feed everyone, help each other.

The magic of Kaua‘i has always been our ‘ohana, the safety net of relationships that holds us all together.

The pandemic has made it so much harder. The isolation, masks, no hugging. Staying at home, working at home, and missing our big gatherings of hugging and kissing and laughing and partying together in beaches or backyards.

Many are experiencing devastating financial losses. Jobs, businesses, and long waits for unemployment help. Many of us were already stressed before the pandemic.

Housing is tough, rents are high and scarce, and everyone seems to work multiple jobs to make ends meet.

Health insurance benefits evaporate when employment does. More stressors.

Kaua‘i had four suicides in one week in May. Many others are struggling with mental health issues. Our social networks are getting tired of dealing with uncertainty. Stress is what we cannot control. Drugs and alcohol only make it worse. Suicide is never the solution.

Crimes and violence increase, often in families trapped in houses that are too small to begin with. The victims cannot escape or call for help. Auwe, so challenging.

What is hard on Kaua‘i, is everyone knows everyone. The coconut wireless on steroids. Facebook knows your story before you do. Usually untrue gossip.

Most of us don’t want others to know our secrets, or that we need help. Many of us are afraid to ask for help, in case someone finds out. Support groups can be dangerous, because your boyfriend’s sister might be there.

The Alliance of Hope is a nonprofit that provides online support for families whose loved ones have died by suicide. They support the grieving ‘ohana after the devastating and traumatic loss. Only those who have lived the pain can understand.

My new best friend, Ronnie Walker, lives on Kaua‘i. She founded the organization and built it into a strong support system for thousands of people across the world. She has received national awards for the amazing achievements of the Alliance of Hope. The organization offers an online forum with 24/7 support, counseling and other resources. More than 18,000 people have been helped to survive suicide loss.

You can connect with others anonymously and find healing support 24/7 at your fingertips.

For folks trapped at home, or unable to travel, your relief might only be a website away. Alliance of Hope is easy to find and has a simple, wonderful site, full of free resources. Visit allianceofhope.org to find out more.

Founded on kindness. Aloha, our most important Hawaiian resource.

Don’t leave home without it.

• Virginia Beck, NP and Certified Trager® Practitioner, offers Wellness Consultation, Trager Psychophysical Integration and teaches Malama Birth Training classes. She can be reached at 635-5618.